So just recently I picked up a cheap journal at Walmart. I find that it is not an easy thing for me to come out and speak what’s on my mind to the Lord. I do make an effort to practice doing it but I find that writing out my thoughts and the words that I want to express to the Lord are just as good on paper. It has really helped in terms of opening up to the Lord, it brings me closer to him.
At my job there are two kinds of work so there are two different schedules. I am considered “a floater” I can work both types of jobs but primarily I am put on just one schedule. Sometimes though I can be put on the other schedule. There have been a time or two that it is not brought to my attention that I am put on that other schedule. Long story short I thought I had the day off, when really I didn’t. My work called me and said that I was scheduled to work. I was still in my pj’s! It was 9 am and that is when we start work!! I quickly took a shower made my lunch and rushed out the door. I was a little upset and frustrated. I had made plans with a friend which now had to be put on hold.
On the way to work, which is about a 20 minute drive I had time to think of what I was going to say and do once I got to work. I was in the mood to let them really have it!!! Although in my spirit, I knew that I didn’t want to enter work being mad because we all know that it just makes things more difficult. When your mad your not really concentrating on anything else, I like to be a pleasant person at work and I really don’t like conflict. By the time I parked my car my anger was all fizzled out. When I entered through the doors I had made a plan to write my boss a note, telling her of my frustration. You know how that is though the right time never really presents itself.
So I got myself busy on a daily project and the whole time I was talking silently to the Lord in my spirit. Basically I was just letting all the frustration go. Sometimes we just need to talk to someone about whatever is bothering us. That can make a world of difference. It is such a blessing to always have God with us. “I remember asking the Lord what should I do about this then? Lord this isn’t the first time this has happened!” And He just told me in my spirit ‘Cover it with grace because isn’t that what I would do for you?’ All the anger, all the frustration just left me in a second. I thought, my boss probably just made a mistake. She probably had a lot going on. I just let the whole thing go. About an hour later she came and apologized to me for the mix up and I just said it’s all okay.
What if I would have hung on to the frustration, the anger??? Would it have caused anything to be made right?? During my silent talk to the Lord all the things that I heard preached about grace and forgiveness came flooding to my head. Is holding on to the hurt and the grudge going to hurt her or me more??? If I don’t let this go and forgive, who will be effected more?? Her or I? I once heard it said that if you don’t forgive and if you remain mad at someone it is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It hurts us more! So why hold on to hurt?! The other person is not feeling your hurt only you are, so why continue hurting when you can simply, I didn’t say easily, let it go and forgive???
I have forgiven many things of many people, I no longer feel the weight of carrying the hurt. Recently at a teen night at my church my pastor talked of being abused and bullied by siblings. Our Pastor told us of how it was surprising to know the hurt was still there. Through preparing to teach on it with the Lords help, my Pastor was finally able to let it all go and forgive. We had some teens and others of our teen ministry share their testimonies but in the end we prayed to forgive and let it go. We can all go through something like this, some less extreme then others but it can greatly effect us in more ways then we know. Being able to let go of those buried hurts and forgive those who have hurt us can truly free us. We can then truly be effective and useful to the Lord.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every kind of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesian 4:31-32
Repent, then and turn to God, so that your sins many be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord Acts 3:19
The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him Daniel 9:9
As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12